why for this past few days it wasn't smooth for me.. why suddenly so many things is happening.. for once today i really back to my normal self but until principles of cooking the scene of my nightmare came back.. the same scene keep flashing back and i feel very uncomfortable with it.. nek nek feel something is wrong with me immediately.. thanks for being there and understand me.. went home after sch i tot i will be ok after taking a nap.. but who knows.. i got woke up by mum's call on the phone with dad.. and i heard something that shock me.. after mum hang up the phone she told me everything.. dad got a letter from the hospital but he chose to keep to himself without telling us until mum saw the letter.. mum decided to make a call just now regarding dad's issue.. and come to know that the dept is concerning kidney, livers and surgery.. while mum was telling me she just teared.. all i could do is to console her i told myself not now..! you are not suppose to cry oso.. i tried to control myself and i did.. but after that i ran to the toilet and let everything out.. my heart really very very pain.. it was not myself the whole night.. i keep telling myself not to cry.. dad's appt is next tues and mum going to accompany hm to the hospital.. i really wish that nothing is wrong with dad.. how will i gonna get on going for these few days till tues.. i wish i got the courage to tell dad how i really care for him but i jus can't.. i keep telling myself everything will be fine nothing will goes wrong.. but what if i am really wrong..? what if everything is not the way i want... please don let it happen!!!
